イングランド (E)

外国人の見た世界
Chakuwiki英語版「England」の翻訳

イギリス (E)として知られているイングランドはユーロッパ (E)の主要国である。

1. イングランドの公用語は英語ではなく、“イングランド語”である。
2. England has seceded from the more widely known global power, ロンドン (E)
3. イングランドはアールグレイで出来た紅茶の海 (E)によってイギリス (E)から切り離されている。
4. テキサス州民のものに答えて、疑ってください：イングランドからテキサスまで車で行くために、4時間以上かかります。
5. 全てのイギリス人はキュウリサンドを食べる間、ハイティーをすすりながら戦争や女王に関する話をしている。
6. ハイティーをとらないとき、一部のイギリス人はフィッシュ＆チップスを食べて、それから、食物があった油だらけの紙をとって、ガラスの代わりに彼らのwindowpainesでそれをつけます。これは、低級な行いと考えられます。
7. 実際の所、イギリスのビールは生温い状態で出されはしない。
   • “鶏を調理するには十分な熱さ”という意味のピピング・ホットという状態で出されために、お腹を空かしたパブ通いはビールで炙られた油ギッシュな食べ物を発明した。
     • 詳しくはフィッシュ＆チップス (E)の項でどうぞ。
8. 同国は、英国人が互いにほとんどつまずいているように過密です。そういうわけで、全てのイギリス人は、ロンドン (E)（それは、イギリス（E）（イングランドでない）にあります）で、あなたの友人を知っています。あなたがリバプール (E)に行くならば、あなたは女王に会います。
9. イギリスでは常に雨が降り続けているため、多くのイギリス人は太陽がなんであるか知らない。
10. Someone wrote that the British think they are superior because they think they are the only ones using a two-tier currency system but that can't be true because even the French do that.
11. England has badgers and snakes[1], but they do not like each other.
12. Lions and snakes also do not like each other, which is okay for the snakes because Kenya (E) is a long way from England.
    • All the children in England have been plunged into a state of advanced depression by an evil perpetrator known only as JKR (E). Top psychologists remain baffled; anyone with knowledge of he/she hopes to gain by this plot, please contact your nearest bobby.
13. イングランドの主な輸出品は傘、ダービーハット、そして霧である。
14. Many people mistakenly believe that English people have bad teeth. In fact, they have no teeth at all and must therefore gum their food. This explains what passes for British cuisine, as well as the expression "by gum."
15. The reason England almost took over the entire world with their "British" Empire was due entirely to their secret weapon 'the cup of tea' which helps deal with any problem.
16. There are officially 3 gay people in England, the Bill Of Constitutions (more specifically the 3rd Amendment) had stated that Gay Marriages would be allowed when the number is 4, in order to lesssen the chances of extramarital affairs. Unfortunately the President of England was tricked into thinking there were 4 people (and rushing the Act through The House Of Common Englanders) when a certain R.Williams convinced a popular newspaper he was gay. He subsequently denied his claim and won major cash damages from the English National Defamation Lottery by including with his claim a guess at the number of Corgis that Her Majesty Queen walked on a certain date.
17. In the City Of London (confusingly located 35 miles from The Real City Of London (tm)) one 12km street contains the largest concentration of Coffee Roasters and Grinders outside Dubai. The beans are delivered daily direct from Brazil - often still by horsedrawn narrowboat, although motorised craft are steadily increasing in populatrity. Many cite this to be due to the collapse of HorseShoe, the ubiquitous subsidised high street farriers business that is one year into a disasterous trasfer from public to private ownership.
18. Every month, each Briton must complete an opinion poll regarding their favourite portrait of Her Majesty The Queen. When the President oF England tried to stop this perhaps old fashioned custom, there were major riots in high class areas of London.

• Sneadham (E)

1. It is a common joke in Europa (E) that the English people have posh accents. This is not true; we all use slang apart, even the Queen.